How To Rebuild Broken Trust In A Relationship

Most of us believe that once trust is broken in a relationship that it can’t be restored. However, there are several specific things you can do if you wronged your mate and broke the trust in your relationship.

Step One is to accept the blame for what you did. This in itself is radical. Instead of giving lame excuses or blaming your mate for being cold to you, you just take the blame. “Hon, I wronged you, I cheated on you.” When our mate has wronged us one of the things we wonder is do they really understand what they did wrong. Step one takes care of this. You make it very clear that you are to blame and you accept responsibility.

That is a great start! It is entirely different from all the bs we usually get when there is a problem in a relationship. I screwed up and Im owning up to it is a very powerful thing ” if you mean it and dont keep screwing up.

Step 2 builds on this. You tell your ex that what you did caused pain, and here is the pain you believe you caused.

Look, your ex is hurting! They may be furious with you, or they may feel sad and broken hearted. They are in emotional pain. So you fess up to that to, since you caused all the pain theyre feeling. Hey, not only did I cheat on you, but I caused you pain. I hurt you deeply, I made you feel worthless, like I didnt appreciate and respect you. I know I broke your heart

Wow! This is different than most any other approach your ex has heard! You arent bsing your ex, you are being responsible. This is what I did, it caused you pain, and this is the pain I think I caused you, and again, Im owning up to it.

Using the best words you can find, describe the emotional damage you think you caused. You want your partner to get a good sense that you understand the emotional damage you caused them. This is critical to rebuilding trust.

Most apologies don’t work because they miss these two steps. Accept blame for what you did and let your mate know you understand the emotional pain you caused. When you do this, your apology is much more effective towards rebuilding trust. There are more steps to it, but these first two can take you a long way.

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